It's in the mail. Maybe

Her majesty is a grand old gal, but her postal service is a bit dodgy sometimes.

I finally DID manage to get all my paperwork (so far) signed, stamped, authorized, notarized, disinfected, inspected, sealed, laminated, framed, stamped again, and signed off by the Mounties, several lawyers, a notary, a commissioner of oaths, a nice lady at the Greek consulate in Montreal and New Brunswick's Lieutenant Governor (I am not making this up - really - the LG had to sign off too).

So the next step is to mail the whole mess of documents to my lawyer in Crete - the talented Dr. Marios. He then gets them all translated by an OFFICIAL (of course) translator recognized by the Greek government (naturally). I'm not sure how many rogue wildcatting Greek translators are skulking about ready to do evil deeds to government documents, but apparently this process weeds them out.

In good faith, I mailed a batch by means of something called an "international package." Cost me 57 bucks but got there in 4 days. The next batch went "expedited" - cost me 34 bucks and has yet to arrive 2 weeks later. The third batch went by regular international air mail - small package - cost me 7 bucks - it also is somewhere in Her Majesty's post office waiting to whisked to Greece. Three different post offices; three different recommendations for the best way to mail; three different prices and three different mail clerks who never heard of either of the first two ways to send the package. Hmmmm. Who needs reality TV when you have a post office providing such great edge-of-your-seat kind of entertainment.

The bad news is that if Her Majesty manages to lose any of these letters, I have to start all over again.

Dudley Doright Done Me Wrong!

Still here? Good lord, you must be a sucker for the boring minutiae of government paperwork! Or a kindly relative. Or a creditor. Hmmmmmm....

I started my paperwork to purchase my tiny piece of Crete in May. It is now October. Oh those wacky Greeks and their bureaucracy, you say. Uhm, no - this 6 month delay in getting the paper I needed to START the purchase process was caused by my very own Canadian government. See, the first order of business in preparing to apply for permission to buy is the need for a criminal record check from our beloved Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Six months this took - fee for getting fingerprinted (O my, THAT was an interesting experience!); fee for requesting the record check. Since my life is depressingly dull, I have no criminal record that would make me pop up instantly on any data base. Back when I was 9 years old and boosting chocolate bars, they apparently didn't record my life of crime. So, yes, six months for Dudley Doright to get off his Royal arse and give me the stinking piece of paper that says I'm a good girl (at least as far as they are concerned - all you exes out there - shaddup!)

So, now the paperwork has been assembled that basically identifies me as (A) a Canadian and (B) Saintly.

Then I had to send it to Greek consulate in Montreal for 6 copies of everything AND little paper stamps and arcane notations on each copy to prove that the Greek consulate agrees that these are in fact, indeed, documents issued by the Canadian government. There was a fee for this, of course. In fact, they charge by the page. I am $125 poorer. Plus the courier costs and the pre-paid return envelope. There are no free rides.

So now, the paperwork rests with my lawyer in Crete. A very stylish hyperactive guy who speaks faster than the speed of stink. Let's hope his lawyering skills are as slick. He now has to assemble all my documents and their various copies and stamps and authorizations and find the topographical maps of the property, find the engineer and architect and contractor and probably Spiros down at the fish market to sign off on the whole mess and then send it to the Minister of Defense in Athens for his approval. My lawyer happily assures me that this will only take eight months. That's 8 (eight) months. It will be interesting to see if the Greek government can beat the 6 months it took for the Mounties to give me my piece of paper.

And THEN...... I can write a check and buy a piece of land that would fit comfortably in a corner of my driveway here in Canada.

Can't accuse ME of being an impulse shopper!!! God, I need and ouzo..... stay tuned.