Impulse shopping: Greek style

So, if you’ve been following along with this blog, you know that I have been trying to buy a little scrap of land in Greece. And you’ve patiently followed along on all the bureaucratic hoops I’ve had to jump through to foolishly spend my money.

Let’s review: a few years ago I found a tiny, but small patch of dirt on the island of Crete. Ever the impulse shopper, I took one look at the views from the land and said “SOLD!” Or the rough equivalent in my really atrocious Greek.

My sales agent, the ever helpful, endlessly patient Andreas, outlined the paperwork needed that I, as a non-EU citizen, would need to assemble to buy my patch of heaven. Mounds of it, piles of it, heaps actually. All duly stamped, notarized, authorized, certified, and stamped again. Paperwork is key – apparently actually handing over my dough is a minor detail - twiddling with more paperwork and stamps is ever so much more fun.

For the last two years I have been getting criminal record checks, arguing with the Greek Minister of Defense, whilst meekly begging for the opportunity to hand over my entire retirement savings to a country that is going bankrupt. I’ve been processed and cleared by the Greek departments of heritage, agriculture, environment, rural development and several other minor provincial offices. I still don’t have my land.

If you’ve been keeping up with the news, Greece is in a financial crisis of epic proportions. Not only is the country teetering on the abyss of bankruptcy, its profligate spending the last decade is now threatening to bring down the entire Eurozone.

I’ve been desperately trying to give Greece my money – buy some land, build a house, employ some locals to build and maintain it, and settle in. Apparently impulse shopping is not a danger in Greece as it’s now going on two years and I still have no land and no house.

I’m told that I am now mere days away from the right stamp being applied to the right piece of paper, duly notarized, authorized and certified and solemnly witnessed by everyone in the village from the mayor to the village barber. Mere days. The pace of land purchasing in Greece makes one dizzy.

I’ll keep you posted.

In the meantime, I’m going to go check on that bottle of champagne I put in the fridge to chill for the day I get my deed. I think it may have evaporated by now.

Number one on the bucket list

Like a dog looking for a place to pee, I’ve circled and circled to find just the exact right spot to buy my little slice of Greek island paradise. I’ve been looking for over a decade. And this year, I think I might have finally found the right place.

Why Greece, you might say. And – good god with their economy in shambles – why now?

Can you see me shrug? Can you see my goofy smile? Can you see the stars in my eyes? My only answer is why not? The time has never been better. Here’s a tip – Greece’s economy is always a basket case, they have perpetual labour unrest and the Canadian dollar goes up and down like a whore’s drawers. So, what the hell – if you read any of my first 30 or so posts you’ll know my mantra – you’re a long time dead. Act, because inaction is decay. And I have no intention of rotting on the vine, my friends.

Over the next year, I’ll be blogging about just what one poor (and I mean POOR) foreigner has to go through to acquire property in Greece. The bureaucracy is byzantine and I will need your moral support in navigating it. Fortunately I have the quick witted and unflappable Andreas to help me find my bearings and Marios to help me deal with their legal quagmire.


I may chicken out before I plant my first olive tree. But I am indeed going to try this adventure. If I didn’t, I would hate myself for not at least trying.

So, stick around as I chart my course to become landed gentry in my version of paradise.

Freedom fighters

No one knows for sure when it was founded, but it is believed that the Arkadi Monastery may date between 950 and 1200 AD. In Venetian times, the monastery housed as many as 300 monks in its precincts.

In 1866, when the Cretan revolt broke out, 1500 of the leaders gathered there to plot the rebellion. The Turkish pasha in Rethymno set out a force of 15,000 with 30 cannon to nip the rebellion in the bud. The local people and rebels barricaded themselves inside the monastery – some 260 men and over 700 women and children. The Turks encircled the monastery and the Cretan situation became hopeless. The abbot gathered the women and children inside the powder magazine where they chose to blow themselves up rather than surrender to the Turks.

The rebels fought bravely and held the Turks off another day. But eventually the walls were breached. Only three or four managed to escape the slaughter that followed. The pasha believed that this put an end to the rebellion and taught the Cretans a lesson, but it only served to inspire the freedom fighters to continue. Crete finally won its autonomy in 1898.

Follow the kid on the bike

Well, a wee change of plans. I've decide to spend the first month or two in Chania, Crete. With a population of 80,000, it isn't egg-ZACK-ly the "village" experience I was planning. However, it is warmer in February and a good jumping off place for other weekend adventures. Libya anyone? Hmmmm... maybe not.

I found a great little apartment in the old Turkish /Venetian quarter. And I mean LITTLE. It is essentially one room on each of 3 floors, with a lovely rooftop terrace. Comes with a bicycle. Stop laughing. I mean it.

If you're really interested in seeing the neighbourhood, check out this YouTube video - follow the kid on the bike.... he rides all through my new 'hood.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPk3nHexuHM